Destroying myself

Sometimes I can't help but wonder,
what I am doing with my life.
I look back on decisions I have made,
and can't even remember why.

Why I decided I'd stop loving you,
why I decided you needed to go.
Why I broke your heart the way I did,
when you didn't want to let go.

I wonder why I thought I'd be better,
facing the world on my own.
Than living deep in your loving heart,
where you had always made me at home.

I wonder if it was something you did,
or if I just got bored, like I do.
I wonder if it was all in my head,
or if it had something to do with you.

It's been so long I can't remember the reasons,
I had for breaking your heart that day.
The reasons I coldly ignored you,
when you begged me just to stay.