As some of you might have guessed from my posts, I suffered a trauma and now I have trouble feeling emotion.
People have suggested that I need to let it all out and have a good cry. That it will unstopper my emotions and I'll be able to feel again. People also suggest relaxing reflection in a bath.
To my rational self these ideas make sense and in the abstract they seem like a great idea. But then it comes to actually doing it.
Now, I have a lot of things I could cry about but I don't really cry about them normally. So, when I want to go on a crying jag, I have to really work up to it. It's like running the bath.
Then I get into it.
I sit and cry or sit in the bath and reflect but then I think "now what?"
I'm just going through the motions really. The physical act alone achieved nothing for me and it all just feels like such a waste of time. There are so many more productive things I could be doing. I don't get anything out of crying or baths. So what's the point?
There is none.
Crying and baths have no value for me.
I'll have to try something else...,