Wednesday 24 August 2016

Overwhelmed

Recovering from my fight with a lawnmower was never going to be easy. I have worked so so hard to be positive and strong for everyone. Downplayed every problem and setback. Stayed positive in the face of every unknown.
Recently it's been getting harder though. I feel like the number of people I can turn to for help is getting smaller all the time as people go back to their own lives. Meanwhile, the things I have to deal with are piling up.
There are so many things I have to do. Physio to get mobility back in my arm, massages and ointment and pressure garments to minimise all the scarring, foods to eat to help me heal, doctors to see, bandages to manage. And on top of that I have to look after horses and dogs and chickens because mum is away looking after my nan who could die any day now. It's just too much. I have been getting so dangerously close to the limit of what I can deal with without losing it.

Fortunately my internal stitches are being well behaved at the moment or I think I would have lost it already.
I just feel like I am so alone...

It's good to have a place to vent though. Now I can go back to being tough and positive for a bit longer...