Your Sunlight and my Shadow Heart

I'm sitting cross legged on the floor in the middle of my life. Broken dreams surround me, beautiful and fragile as dragonfly wings. Empty promises hang in the air, floating clear and shiny. Soap bubbles of good intentions and insincere smiles, ready to burst and disappear in a rain of tears at the slightest pressure.

In my hands are the pieces that I have left. The mangled remains of a broken heart that I cannot yet discard. He broke it and crushed it. Tore it to pieces. But I have hope of fixing it still. This hope is all I have. It lights up this life of mine with a glow and a shimmer. It dulls the glare from the broken things shattered all around me. All I can see is the light, the glowing promises, and the little pieces in my hands.

I don't know how to fix this heart. I can hold the pieces together. Force them to resume their proper shape, but they just fall apart again the second I release them from my shaking hands. I can't go on like this forever, I can't always be holding myself together, eternally on the brink of losing it all.

Just as my hope begins to fade, and the light in my room falters, a movement catches my eye. I look up and there you are, standing in a shaft of golden dancing sunlight. You take me into your arms, engulf me with you smile. You cradle my heart in your hands, and entwine me in your love. I feel safe knowing that you will never let me fall apart.

The floor has fallen away. The broken dragonfly wings of my past don't matter any more. We are floating in a new world of love and light and laughter.

An eternity passes like this, or maybe it's only a few seconds. It's hard to know. Time means so little here in your arms. This life with you consumes me.

In this new bliss I forget the broken wreck that I used to be. The days and years before I met you recede into the murky corners of my mind. They crouch there waiting to claim me again, but kept at bay by your blinding light.

One instant we are like this, entwined in purest happiness, drifting ever higher, the next instant, you are torn from my arms. A cruel twist of fate darkens your eyes and kills your light. I reach for you but I'm falling. Screaming into the darkness as the floor rushes up to meet me.

I can feel my heart breaking again, feel myself falling apart at the seams. There is nothing left to hold me together, no hope to light up the room.

In the dark I don't see it coming, it wouldn't matter if I did. I crash into the floor with all the speed of my breaking heart. The collision should be enough to kill me. I wish it were enough to kill me. Instead I shatter. This time its not just my heart that is breaking. Every part of me is torn apart and crumpled onto the floor. The blackness rushes in on me and for a moment it consumes me. There is nothing left in this world without you. Nothing but the agony radiating from every broken shard of my being.

Then, as my eyes adjust to the gloom, I notice something above me. A faint glow far off in the distance. I recognise it at once, for no one could forget something so beautiful. It is the imprint of you and I together, twirling through the air, all gossamer and golden light. This shadow of happiness is all that I have left.

I lay in the darkness of my life, content to spend whatever I have left gazing longingly at the memory of us.

An eternity passes like this, or maybe it's only a few seconds. It's hard to know. Even now you consume me.